The Fighting Couple.

Salaam,

A few weeks back, my aunt called my mom to report her two sons. Saying they gave her a huge scare the previous night when they started fighting over something as little as a T-shirt. These were two young boys in their late teens, with so much youthful energy to throw around.

The next day, i met with one of my cousins, the younger one of the two brothers. He narrated his version of what happened as I simply watched and listened. I noticed he was full of regrets. He
wished he hadn't fought with his elder brother, he wasn't proud of the way and manner he had behaved, he cared about his elder brother and he had learnt his lessons.

 I told him a short story about two very good friends at my former place of work. These  women had been friends for years, even before I got that job, so I was told. One fateful morning they had a quarrel over the 'photocopier  machine', they reigned insults on one another and said all sorts of rubbish. From where I sat I watched it all, this are two friends I thought.
We were finally able to get them to calm down. Then I spoke to them separately afterwards. They both had regrets, shame, disgust and guilt written all over their faces about how they had acted. The one who started the quarrel said she could have just gone to the other privately to express her dissatisfaction of how she had used the photocopier machine and the other lady knew she could have responded in a much better way. If they had acted as friends truly would, the heated argument wouldn't have happened and they would not have embarrassed themselves in front of their  colleagues.

Most times, arguments and quarrels are inevitable, especially between couples. But the way and manner in which it is handled, is what will affect the results gotten.
In the case of my cousins, I can't say they won't fight again, but I can only say that they are sure to learn something from each other after every fight, until they become mature enough to figure out better ways of handling issues.

A married couple, comprises of a mature male and female. Who are never to fight, but can very well argue every now and then as long as it's an healthy argument and after which, one spouse is better aware of the stand point of the other spouse on that particular issue and they both decide to arrive at a solution point so that an argument on that same topic mostly never occurs again.

It is not healthy for a couple to go to bed after a
heated argument, without bringing it to a conclusive resolve, since both of them are still angry as a result of the conversation. Even the Holy Qur'an instructs us to 'never let the sun come down on us, while still in a state of anger'.

 I always advice my married friends that they should ensure they never carry an argument over till the next day. As each day comes with its own challenges and it would only make the marriage much more difficult when issues are compiled.

When a couple  resolves the issues of the day before that day ends and before falling asleep, that couple is sure to have a goodnight rest and is expected to wake-up with smiles on their faces as they say 'Salaam' to one another. As one will have no anger or grudge against the other.

Communication Is very key in all aspects of life and especially in Marriages. Couples must always be there for each other and should remember that their spouse is their best friend and confidant and must be treated as such.
When there is a communication gap in a marriage, lots of things could go wrong. Many of which might even lead to the dissolution of that marriage.

When two people decide to get married, they should
be aware of the challenges they would face and be prepared to surmount them together. Togetherness in marriage is key. That way, one spouse doesn't feel alone in the marriage and begins to find solace outside of their home.
Many Marriages get dissolved these days because the couples expect it to be Perfect. There is no perfect marriage any where. Because humans are simply not perfect, so a couple must be ready to make sacrifices in order to get a union that pleases them and Allah (SWT).

Now let's talk about prayers. Nothing succeeds in life without the interference of Allah (SWT). A couple that pray together will have their paths made easy for them insha'Allah.
And remember, no matter what, it should never result to a fight (physical combat). Violence has never been a solution to anything.

Till next time again.
Salaam!